The Answer to Your Loneliness

The Answer to Your Loneliness

Max Lucado -- in one of his many writings -- tells the story about Judy. Judy was not a prostitute. -- She was not on drugs -- or on welfare. She never went to jail. -- She was not a social outcast. She was respectable. -- She jogged. -- She hosted parties. She wore designer clothes & had an apartment that overlooked the bay. And -- she was very lonely!

In her loneliness -- she wrote in her diary -- "I see people together & I'm so jealous I want to throw up. -- What about me? -- What about me?"

Though surrounded by people -- she was on an island -- feeling all alone. Though she had many acquaintances -- she had few friends. Though she had many lovers -- (in fact 59 in 56 months) -- she had very little real love.

And so in her diary -- she wrote: -- "Who is going to love Judy Bucknell? -- I feel so old. -- Unloved. -- Abandoned. -- Used up. -- I want to cry & sleep forever."

What a clear message came from her arching words! Though her body died on June 9 from the self inflicted wounds of a knife -- her heart had died long before.

The feeling of loneliness is a growing problem in our present day society! It has been said that loneliness may be the most devastating sickness of our age!

A recent study done by the American Council of Life Insurance -- reports that the most lonely group in America are college students! That's surprising -- but according to the report -- it's true! Next on the list are divorced people -- then welfare recipients -- single mothers -- rural students -- housewives -- & of course -- the elderly!

The feeling of loneliness can be a depressing experience. It is possible to feel lonely in a crowd; -- to see innumerable faces -- none of which can be recognized!

A few people choose to become hermits! Others confine themselves to religious institutions -- believing that in solitude -- peace can be found. Some people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges! But the fact remains that most people -- love -- even crave -- the company of other human beings -- & when circumstances isolate them from others -- despondency is never far away!

Loneliness may be felt by a boy/girl who is away at school -- a member of the armed services separated from family -- a young missionary in a foreign land -- or someone whose job constantly calls upon them to travel away from home! But loneliness can also be felt in the home -- in a relationship gone sour -- in times of sorrow -- failure -- disappointments.

I have a friend who said he can always tell when he has reached the crises stage of being lonely; -- its when he opens his junk mail & actually reads through it!

An ad in a Kansas newspaper, some years ago, read: -- "I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.00" Sounds like a hoax -- doesn't it? But the person was serious. -- Did anyone call? You bet they did! -- It wasn't long before this individual was receiving ten to twenty calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some people were willing to try anything for 1/2 hour of companionship!

The Bible has a special message for lonely people! It is found hidden away in one of the best known verses in the Psalms. In Psalms 46:10 -- it says: -- "Be still, & know that I am God."

In your loneliness -- learn to be still -- & discover I am God! You will never -- never get to know God until you learn the art of silence! In our times of loneliness -- in solitude -- is an excellent time to be quiet -- & discover the presence of God.

In so much of life it is so very easy for us to get caught up in all the activities -- all the programs -- all the meetings -- all the confusion -- all the noise -- that we neglect that which is most important! My friends -- the presence of God is our greatest need! We will never -- never get to know God until we learn the art of silence! "Be still & know that I am God!" The periods of loneliness in our lives provides us with a wonderful opportunity to draw near to God -- knowing He will draw near to us. "Be still & know that I am God!"

It just so happens that at least three outstanding Bible characters learned the significance of discovering the presence of God during their times of loneliness!

It is good to know that in the area of loneliness -- we are not alone after all -- for good men -- godly men -- have been there before we have -- & we can learn from their stories! Let me share with you their stories: --

1. Joshua -- the Man Who Was Lonely in a Crowd! -- Joshua 1

Poor Joshua! -- When God said: -- "Moses my servant is dead" -- a fateful -- almost threatening chill was felt through-out all Israel. But no man was more affected than the new leader who was asked to succeed Moses -- that revered patriarch. Joshua was now to assume leadership.

When Joshua succeeded Moses & became the leader of Israel -- he was confronted with an enormous task of now leading a nation; -- a nation of critical & rebellious people! Joshua's job as a leader was nothing to be envied! The very circumstances of his awesome responsibilities -- would weigh heavy upon him -- & would at times separate him from the people in the nation -- causing a feeling of loneliness. The criticism of the Israelites had to be silenced. Innumerable problems had to be solved. A sense of inadequacy would undermine Joshua's confidence.

The place of leadership is often one of the most lonely places to be! The President of the United States -- with all his advisors -- can often feel all alone! The CEO of a Fortune 500 Company -- even with his Board of Directors -- can feel all alone! A Pastor -- with an entire congregation around him -- can feel all alone! That is true in any position of true leadership! It can be a very lonely job! Even God recognized the weight of the burden of leadership Joshua was to carry -- & the loneliness that it can cause! With great wisdom -- God said to Joshua in the words recorded in Joshua 1:5 -- "As I was with Moses -- so I will be with you; -- I will not fail you -- nor forsake you."

Although many problems arose to confront & confuse Israel's new leader -- Joshua knew he could never be alone! Joshua welcomed solitude -- for in the stillness -- it was easier to hear the voice of his Master! What a powerful lessen there is in this thought for you & me. In a crowd -- in a classroom -- in the factory -- or in an office -- people all around in leadership -- we can be still & discover the presence of God. Loneliness need not be a curse; -- it can be a blessing! So -- "Be still & know that I am God!"

2. Elijah -- the Man Who Was Lonely in a Cave -- 1 Kings 19

Poor Elijah! -- He had won a great victory over the false prophets of Baal -- up on the top of Mount Carmel! But when the wicked Queen Jezebel heard what Elijah has done -- she sent word that she was going to kill Elijah within 24 hours. Elijah had stood triumphantly & boldly before a multitude. But now he was frightened & frustrated by a sinful woman. Jezebel had threatened to ruin his ministry & to end his life. So Elijah fled for his life & hid himself in a cave -- & there Elijah felt so all alone that he wished he were dead!

Elijah prayed: -- "I've had enough, Lord. -- Take my life, for I've got to die sometime -- & it might as well be now" (I Kings 19:4 LB).

Elijah was not the only prophets who prayed that kind of prayer. Jonah once prayed: -- "Just kill me now, Lord! -- I'd rather be dead than alive" (Jonah 4:3 NLT). Had it been possible for Elijah & Jonah to meet -- I imagine they would have talked long into the night! When a healthy man loses the desire to live it is generally because of failure & disappointments within his life! Discouragement -- disappointments -- defeat -- disorder -- disasters -- any of these can cause us to lose sight of the promises of God! Loneliness can come in times when we feel like a failure!

I personally have to admit -- I've been there -- done that!

Discouragement is one of the occupational hazards of the ministry!

My friends -- Always seek to encourage your Pastor!

In the solitude of that mountain cave -- God & Elijah had a talk! As we read in -- 1 Kings 19 -- the Lord said to Elijah -- "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah replied: -- "I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. -- But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you -- torn down your altars -- & killed every one of your prophets. -- I alone am left -- & now they are trying to kill me, too." The Lord told Elijah to "Go out & stand before me on the mountain." As Elijah stood there -- the Lord passed by. A mighty windstorm hit the mountain -- but the Lord was not in the wind. Then there was an earthquake -- but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire -- but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard the gentle whisper -- he stood at the entrance of the cave. -- And a voice said: -- "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah once again expressed the loneliness of his heart by saying: -- "I alone am left -- & now they are trying to kill me, too."

So the Lord told him -- "Go back the way you came & travel to the wilderness" -- for the Lord said: -- "I have 7,000 souls who have never bowed to Baal." (1 Kings 19:9-15a & 18).

When Elijah listened to the voices of nature he remained unmoved -- but when he was still & quite -- a whisper from the Lord stirred his soul -- & he realized he was not alone!

My friends -- the more we fret & stew over our disappointments & failures -- the more lonely we become -- but when we become still & listen -- the more likely we are to hear the voice of God whispering hope to our souls! So -- "Be still & know that I am God!"

3. Paul -- the Man Who Was Lonely in a Cell -- Acts 23

Poor Paul! -- If you read in Acts 21 & 22 -- about Paul's final trip to Jerusalem -- you learn all about the controversy & rioting his presence caused in Jerusalem -- all because Paul had been faithful to his God given call in preaching salvation to the Gentiles. Paul had been warned by the Spirit of God -- & by his many Christian friends -- that he might be bound & even killed if he went again to Jerusalem -- but Paul said he was willing to be jailed -- & also to die for the cause of Jesus Christ!

Oh, what a mess Paul got himself into! Some of the Jews were about to kill him -- when he was rescued by the Roman army & brought before the Jewish High Council. Even at the Council meeting a riot broke out between the Pharisees & the Sadducees -- until the soldiers had to take Paul away by force & lock him up in jail to protect him.

Paul had traveled continents & preached to multitudes.

Paul remembered those invigorating & exciting meetings.

But now he sat in a jail cell & he was desperately alone.

A jail cell is sufficient to sadden the heart of any man! Here Paul was alone -- with no friends to comfort Him -- alone with his memories -- wondering if death awaited him!

Then a wonderful thing happened! In the midst of Paul's solitude -- the Lord stood beside Paul & said -- in Acts 23:11-- "Be encouraged, Paul. -- Just as you have told the people about me here in Jerusalem -- you must preach the Good News in Rome" (NLT).

God had not forsaken Paul! In the quietness of that cell -- Paul was made aware of the Lord's presence -- & he was given assurance that God still had work for Paul to do! In an hour of deep loneliness for Paul -- this prisoner's spirit was liberated even before his prison door was opened!

Sometimes -- even in doing what is good & proper -- we become so wrapped up in the busyness -- the demands -- the needs of others -- the challenges -- the expectations -- that we can no longer hear the voice of God in our lives!

But when we quiet ourselves -- in the midst of our loneliness -- we can discover the presence of God! So again -- here the words: -- "Be still & know that I am God!"

Conclusion: -- Interestingly -- our English language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. What Psalms 46:10 is saying to us is that we can move from the pain of loneliness to the glory of solitude!

The periods of loneliness in our lives provides us with a wonderful opportunity to draw near to God -- knowing He will draw near to us. "Be still & know that I am God!"

Today -- do you feel all alone?

Alone in a crowd; -- alone in a cave; -- alone in a cell?

Alone in a place of leadership -- in the feeling of failure & disappointments -- or in bitter opposition?

Look carefully around -- be still & listen. Rather than trying to cover up your loneliness with lots of noise -- move from loneliness to a place of solitude! Use the solitude of your loneliness to listen & to hear the still small voice of God speaking to you! God is trying to get your attention today. He is saying: "Be still & know that I am God!" You are not alone. -- God is nearer to you than you can imagine. May your loneliness give way to fellowship with God! God will sustain & strengthen & brighten your life with His presence.

Pastor Lyle Pettit -- Wynne Chapel -- Cochise, AZ